Today’s post is relatively short and reflective. I write this as I sit and observe the world spin around my reality, with the characters fulfilling their roles. Life has been a whirlwind adventure over the past three years, and my awakening hasn’t been smooth sailing. For sure, I was caught up in my own way of preservation and refused to allow myself to be receptive of new opportunities. There were times on my journey that I felt empty even though I was surrounded by friends. Although I knew I had the strength to get through any situation, I felt lost. Nonetheless, I knew I was destined to achieve my life’s purpose. Anyway, no matter what came my way or how low I thought I felt, I emerged on the other side with clarity and confidence to cope with life.
Sure, we’ve all done things that we weren’t proud of. Especially in the reminder reel of disappointments and embarrassing moments from five years ago, your brain decides to play right before you fall asleep. It’s so easy to accept people’s judgements, anger and the disappointing image they paint of us even when the time has flown by, but what if we decided to forgive ourselves. Part of life’s lessons is to learn from the mistakes we’ve made. One thing I know for sure is that I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for the choices I made in the past- good or bad, right or wrong. So whenever you feel embarrassment from your former self creep in, don’t immediately turn to shame. Instead, pay homage to that version of you and nurture this self because if we continue to hide in shame and darkness, we are more likely to project our broken and traumatic self onto others. The ‘others’ tend to be the people who are closest to us. Perhaps try some positive affirmations to help you on your journey.
This is a common issue where we feel guilty for our needs and desires. The truth is, we all deserve to have what we need and desire. Most of us run in circles trying to please people yet, we never stop to realise that we are unable to help others if our own cup is empty. So don’t feel guilty to set healthy boundaries. Learn to say no when you need to and find ways to do the things that help you to connect with self. Another way of being selfish is to manage expectations accordingly. We’re not all built to carry our load, and everyone else’s as we navigate our way through life. A lot of people have such high expectations of us that we end up falling over ourselves trying to meet them and vice versa. The key is to find a balance for how others manage their expectations and how we manage ours.
Soothe yourself to soothe others
There have been many times when I felt like I couldn’t afford to soothe people in my circle because I wasn’t aligned with my own peace. Sometimes circumstances arise in life that knocks the air out of your lungs and sends your knees weak, however, to be available and supportive to others, you have to take time out of situations to make sure you’re at peace. Even nurses need to be nursed and nurtured. So if you find yourself in a difficult situation and you feel like you’re patting your way around the dark, take some time out to process your emotions, thoughts and find clarity.
Opinions are not facts
Imagine if you listened to every single opinion that was made about you and your life goals? I can’t imagine this because I know that people’s opinions, especially when it’s unsolicited, are not a concrete fact. We all have our own perception of what life is or what it should be. If you get caught up in a fight, you will notice that everyone who witnessed the fight, when asked, will have a slightly different version to recount, including yourself. There isn’t really a right or wrong account of the fight, but merely, everyone had their own perception of what happened. This is the same with life’s trivial moments. People will always have an opinion, but it’s up to you how you let it affect your life. At the end of the day, when you hop into bed and close your eyes to reflect, the only opinion that matters about your life choices is yours.
Have a wonderful day.