Thoughts on turning 28

A lot of people fear the big 30 and whilst most are eager to celebrate the important landmark birthdays, there are a few people who either hated or loved their twenty-eighth birthday. First of all, I must reflect on how much I have achieved in one year. Never did I think I would write and publish five books, have a sustainable writing business and still have a tunnel vision for my goals. Yet, here I am, proud of what I have accomplished in a short space of time. Below are some thoughts from myself and loved ones on turning twenty-eight.

Making empowered decisions

Waking up on the right side of my twenty-eighth birthday, what a trip! I didn’t feel as elated as most people showcased on social media. I didn’t feel any different from the day before, and I have to admit that my mental strength was shaky with absurd self-expectations. Expectations of having a giant party, spending loads of money on things that weren’t conducive to my spiritual growth, my mental health or on people that weren’t on my frequency. Of course, looking back now I thought It was a bit ridiculous that I felt pressured by the standards socials created on one’s mental health, but that’s the thing with social media, mundane crap creeps up on your feeds and absorb your energy like a vampire. A light feeling from within then struck me with profound warmth that has stayed with me until now. It was an urge to journal my intentions and affirmations for my personal year, which in turn would empower me to make empowered decisions, in everything I do.

The vow to travel

A lot of people in my circle have said that turning twenty-eight presented more opportunities to travel and experience the world. This is mostly because they are or were settled in their careers with comfortable salaries that enabled them to get up and go. They felt that this was the time where they could really let go of expectations and revert back to their childhood selves. Although we are all aware that this experience is not the same for everyone.

Careers and confidence

This seems to be the common themes with people I’ve spoken to, where they felt more confident turning twenty-eight because their careers were taking off and were on track. On the other hand, some felt that it was the appropriate time to jump ship and change careers. Meanwhile, confidence also increased because they were gaining more experience to do things on their own. This confidence also built into self-knowledge, gaining a better insight into what it is that we want and how we perceive ourselves and the world.

Blooming friendships and support systems

Where would we be without the friends who have stuck by us through thick and thin? Surviving a birthday and life’s journey is doable on our own. However, the experience is fun with friends whom, we have accepted and those who nurture us in return. For most of us who have these superheroes in our lives, whether it’s one or one hundred; a healthy support system is part of a key that enables us to build confidence and feel secure.

Management of expectations

One of the popular thoughts on turning twenty-eight is usually panic and anxiety over being married and starting a family. This is exceptionally true for some people who feel they have a solid ground in their career yet, feel the pressure like they’ve fallen off track in their social life. “The pressure to start a family, as I’m aware of my biological clock and the feeling is very real”. Sure, society and family plays a role in our mental projection of when is the right time to get married and start a family; however, times have changed, and science has evolved. The most important note here is to realise that you need to have an internal assessment and awareness to ensure that you’re making decisions for you and not others. Chances are, family and friends will not pay your bills and childcare if you fall in an unfortunate financial crisis, and they are unlikely to pay for your wedding, that is, unless you’re from a wealthy and generous family. Marriage and raising children is not only financially taxing, but it’s also emotionally and spiritually testing too. If you are not aligned within yourself, and you haven’t healed from past trauma or detrimental habits, you have to take into account and assess if your environment and partner/s are conducive to your goals. Keep pushing through and take your time.

All the best xo