It’s easier said than done when you’re convinced that the people who hurt and mess you around really do love you. You tell yourself that it’s the situation that’s complicated. Perhaps you live in a financial red zone every month because you’re convinced that you must keep up with your friends’ luxurious lunch dates and that you need a new pair of boots for every occasion. Maybe, you’re convinced that you deserve overseas holidays and city breaks a few times a year because you don’t want to face and live the life you have at home. Nobody is here to condemn your life choices as you are the captain of your own ship and have free will. Although, at some point, you have to question if it’s a healthy cycle or whether you’re just stuck romanticising it because you’re not in touch with who you are or are afraid of your true potential.
Let’s begin with the understanding that a toxic cycle isn’t necessarily confined within intimate relationships. It can sit in friendships, your relationship with everyday tasks, your employer, your relationship with nutrition, and money. Now that you know what it looks like, it’s time to identify if there are areas of your life that require some attention and care. This is where many people choose to give up because the prospect of identifying areas of their lives that require rectifying and setting healthy boundaries is a scary concept. And the ego itself doesn’t make it easy to handle self-criticism, which is why most choose to create a fantasy around bad habits to avoid the fact that it’s detrimental to some aspects of their health. From personal experience, it appears that our unexplored shadow self that contains our suppressed traumas play a role in how we perceive habits, situations and people in our lives. This is part of the process that we need to accept as we dig deeper into ourselves, one should expect to uncover some ancient emotional relics that will undoubtedly be painful to face. As much as we want to accelerate through our healing, though, it’s important to note that our minds, bodies, and souls require unrelenting patience. When you feel like you need to speak to a therapist, allow yourself the opportunity to do so. And when you have identified why you are in a toxic cycle, you can make substantial efforts to create boundaries and make healthier choices.
This post is a drop in a bucket on such a subject; however, I hope you manage to gain something from this to help you on your way. Keep working on yourself and stay tuned in to your own needs because a small improvement also creates a significant universal experience.
Until next time.