Today’s post aims to bring awareness to your use of language. Communication is often misunderstood or misused, especially when we use specific negative language to talk to ourselves and others. Language is a powerful tool that can make or break your day. The words you choose have the opportunity to create a supportive community or conflict yet, sometimes we don’t even think twice about how we linguistically project ourselves to the world. We have the power to change ourselves, our reality and the world through the use of positive language by being conscious about what we consume and project. The following points are five words and phrases to be aware of and scrap from your vocabulary if you want to further pursue your self-development journey and create a reality you desire.
‘I can’t do this’
When it comes to achieving your goals, trying something new or even working on personal confidence, it’s good to begin to train your subconscious mind by using firm words that opens enthusiasm and prompts action. Using the word ‘Can’t’ automatically creates a negative bias and diminishes your confidence when your aim is to take action. Unless you are using this word in a situation where you are creating firm boundaries, using this word illustrates unsureness about your ability to utilise your strength, will power and motivation. If you know that you have the skills and resources to help you reach your goals, using ‘can’t’ will stir up doubt and cause your efforts to falter. This will also give people the impression that you don’t trust yourself. It takes time, however, try to replace ‘I can’t do this’ with ‘I can do anything I put my mind to’ and eventually simply ‘I CAN do this.’
‘I hate this, that and everyone’
This is one of the most commonly used phrases, and I have to admit that I have used it a few times in testing situations. When you think about the word hate, it’s not necessarily a negative word but rather a low-vibration word. We often use it in frustration and low-vibrational situations. When you’re on a journey of self-development and expanding consciousness, you’ll begin to understand that we are all connected to each other and our surroundings. Suppose you are in a low-vibrational environment or situation; your goal is to raise your frequency so that you are unaffected by external factors and instead, have the ability to transmute the chaos into your lessons and gains. How will you learn about yourself if you constantly carry a funk in your heart that’s not even yours? How can you grow into your highest and best version of yourself doing what you love if you’re projecting hatred and spending your valuable energy on people and situations that don’t serve you? I’m not suggesting that we walk around pretending to love everything and everyone. However, changing the word ‘hate’ and associating it with empathy, understanding, and learning will become more productive for you when life gets chaotic. When you build anger, or you feel a dislike for something, try to explore ‘I’m not keen on this, but at least I have experienced it and can move on’ or by taking a breath and acknowledging why you feel this ‘hate’ so that you can address the uncomfortable within.
‘I am sick’
Yes, we all have days when we fall under the weather, and ailments plague us, but it’s worth noting that you become what you consistently tell yourself you are and feel. Some days you can’t deny that you’re unwell, especially when you are swamped with extra stress. Instead of declaring ‘I am sick’, try ‘I am healing and I will rest’. This will slowly lift your mood and place your mind in a receptive mode to find resources to make you feel better and heal. I am not a doctor, and this is not a replacement for a medical appointment but to help support your thoughts as your body heals.
Remember that there are no golden formula or shortcuts to reach your goals and deal with situations along your journey. It’s all about perspective and changing angles to understand the lessons hidden in the chaos. Be aware of what you want to embody and what you put out in the world and onto others. Keep going and find ways to enjoy the experience.
April seems to be over in a flash, but there’s still time to address habits that no longer serve you and get your life in order. We have eased into spring, and nature is now active yet, some of you may still need support to shed the grogginess of winter and step into vitality. Below are the five ways you can invest in yourself this month and possibly for the long term.
Invest in a good notebook and pen
Yes, you read that right. We all have to-do lists, affirmations and thoughts to write and process as we go through the day. Investing in a good notebook and pen will make your journal moments a little more exciting and keep your brain more alert. Try Paperchase or Amazon.
Invest in a workout video plan, app or gym equipment
It’s always a good time to take on a workout regime, whether it’s yoga, cardio, pilates, dance or exploring the outdoors. The beauty of today’s technology means that most times, you don’t really have to leave your house to get a good sweat on. If you have enough space, you can find some free workout videos on Youtube, purchase an app or some accessible home gym equipment. If you don’t have space or the funds, simply put on some comfortable shoes and go for a long walk.
Invest in a holistic health treatment
If you have aches and pains that are managed with conventional medical care or simply just want to try something for your overall wellbeing, it’s worth looking into some holistic treatments that are widely available. Ensure to do your research on the treatments and practitioners, and speak with your doctor beforehand to ensure that your chosen treatment is right for you. These include acupuncture, acupressure, reflexology etc. A nice massage and meditation may also help you feel refreshed and balanced.
Invest in a new piece of technology that allows you to work seamlessly
This can be a new phone, new laptop or anything that will help to streamline your workload and enhance your learning experience. If you’re stuck on a choice, you can find something useful here.
Invest in a new meal plan that is healthy yet indulgent
The majority of us are foodies but also choose to stay healthy. This month you can try adding some new ingredients to your shopping list or invest in a new meal plan. There are plenty to choose from to have fresh ingredients for new recipes delivered to your doorstep. Try hellofresh or Gousto if you want fantastic meals but don’t want to spend too long in the kitchen.
Until next time.
This post is NOT sponsored or affiliated by any of the products or organisations mentioned.
So you’ve evaluated your life plans and have started taking actions with tremendous enthusiasm. However, after many trials and lessons, you have realised that you’re not moving as fast towards your goals as you hoped or you’re not getting the desired results. We are all guilty of this at one point in time where we make decisions that we think is best, or even hope that perhaps ‘one day’ we’ll get what we desire in life. There is no magic formula to living a life of comfort and financial security. We all have to put in the discipline and effort to make things work in our favour, and some of us have started with nothing but a blank page. However, it’s how you choose to tackle obstacles that determine how quickly and how well you can achieve what you desire in life. The below points will help you to identify your obstacles and give you ideas on how you can navigate your way to success.
You don’t have a clear vision of what you want so you don’t know what actions to take to acquire it
This is the common mistake people make when starting a business, new relationships, making financial investments, or making a career change. Some even make decisions blindly because they don’t know what they want, which most often ends with costly lessons. Before you decide to take out a loan for a business, hand in your job resignation letter or jump into moving in with a new partner; ensure that you have taken the time to think about whether your current decision aligns with your long term goals. Assure that you have taken the time to identify your bigger picture, research the responsibilities that come with making each decision and think carefully about how it will impact you mentally and emotionally going forward. Sometimes we tend to change direction and leap towards what we think would be a good idea until we end up confused and exhausted. This is why it’s always a good idea to plan before setting any action in motion. Even if you don’t look at it every day, it will ensure you stay on course.
You don’t practice gratitude for what you already have to prepare you for an elevated version of it
Many people spend their days complaining about what they don’t have while longing for an extravagant lifestyle. This is quite prominent today because such lifestyles are widely advertised online, in films and on most social media platforms. Some are too busy longing for what they think others have, that they forget to pay attention and express gratitude for what they already possess. If this is you, perhaps take some time out by yourself to write a list of the things you are grateful for. Gratitude is the language of the universe, and it’s a way to show that you are taking responsibility for what you already own until you attract an elevated version of it. Think about it, if you live in a studio and dream to own a mansion yet, you don’t have the time or discipline to keep your studio clean and pay all the bills on time, how will you manage to be responsible for the ownership of a mansion? Suppose you wake up every day feeling jealous that all of your friends have successful businesses and high-class careers although, you spend all of your time engaging in unproductive activities rather than networking and educating yourself on how you will handle the ups and downs of your job and business. Besides, being successful in life comes with sacrifices that you’ll have to make. Sure, most winners show the occasional extravagant purchases and holidays however, they had to sacrifice their free time when they took the first steps to get what they want. Be grateful for everything, including the time you have now to prepare to move onto more significant opportunities.
You’re scared to make moves because you care too much of what other people think
How many times have you doubted your decisions and actions because you were afraid of what other people would think? It happens to a lot of people. However, you have to find a way to be secure within yourself to trust your intuition and ability to make the most effective decisions. The most crucial point is that you have to ensure that you’re making decisions that are best for you and your goals. No, you won’t get everything right nonetheless, the beauty of life is to learn from experiences.
You’re unwilling to roll your sleeves and get dirty
When it comes to your career, relationships and business, it’s up to you to decide how much energy is worth pouring into their success. Anything that is worth having will undoubtedly require your focus and efforts. Unless you have the funds to pay someone to do the gritty work that you don’t want to acknowledge, you’ll have to learn new skills along the journey. Sometimes you’ll have to accept and do the gritty work within yourself for the sake of your evolution. Whatever it is, at one point in your journey, you’ll need to roll up your sleeve and get in the muck.
You don’t believe that you are worthy and deserving of having what you want
It took me a few years to realise this and really embed it into my subconscious, and you also need to understand this too. You have to believe that you are worthy and deserving of having anything that you desire. When you programme your subconscious mind with this belief, your motivation for accessing all that you desire will increase, you will have better respect for yourself, and your value will rise. If you don’t believe that you are worthy and deserving, people will also lose interest, and it’ll be challenging to keep their attention, especially if you’re trying to sell your brand or products. If you don’t believe that you are worthy of having better, you’re more likely to settle on low expectations, therefore attracting low-quality relationships and disrespect. The message here is not to assume we are better than everyone, no. When you do the shadow work and address underlying issues within, it will enable you to set healthy boundaries to protect your energy and space, make decisions with clarity and form sincere connections with people to support your development and growth.
How many times have you cut yourself short in this lifetime, hoping that one day someone will hand your success? When you’re creating opportunities, It’s never easy to root yourself as a high-value asset that people would take seriously without feeling like you’re letting your ego lose control. Yet, you have to find a balance between your desire to be liked and your desire to be valued in the circle of life. People who like you won’t necessarily value your work or think that you’re worthy of success. This is why it’s crucial to think about what you’re contributing to the world and believe in your work. It’s essential to know your worth so that you don’t settle for less, which could potentially slow you down. To successfully achieve your goals in entrepreneurship and creative ventures, you need to have a level of self-delusion, that unrelenting belief in your craft that motivates you to keep evolving. As you continue to grow and learn from your mistakes and successes, make decisions that empower you to become the best version of yourself while working smarter to ensure that your goals are met effectively. If you don’t know your self-worth, it will become challenging to pitch your ideas. Hence, it opens an invitation for people to doubt you and for external factors to shake your foundation. Remember who you are.
It’s reasonable to think that because you support people in their business and creative ventures, that they would support yours too. The truth is, people are not all the same, and most wouldn’t choose to spend their money on buying your products and services if it isn’t in alignment with their lives. It’s important to understand that as much as you would like your friends, acquaintances and family to root their beliefs in your goals, most often, this won’t become a reality. The truth is, nobody can hold your dreams and goals with as much care as you. Nobody will push themselves towards the accomplishments of your success but you. YOU will put actions into motion towards your success, and only you will know the depth of your desires and motivation.
First of all, the fact that you’re here well and breathing in the current climate is a blessing. Please recognise that your efforts and the choices you’ve made have placed you on this whirlwind journey to self-discovery and growth. Secondly, understand that you always have a choice and that situations don’t last forever. Today’s topic will pull focus on how to stay motivated when you feel trapped in undesirable situations. This can be at work, in business or in creative ventures. There have been conversations from different corners of the internet, encouraging people to find their higher purpose and to strive towards building a business around it. Whether you have decided to build a business or flowing in the direction of expanding your creativity, it’s no secret that we all sometimes hit obstacles along the way. Whatever you decide to do, remember that you have a choice to give up or to keep going until you make it.
It’s not easy to put aside the time while working around other commitments to set action towards your goals. After all, we are humans, and we get tired and frustrated. When you find yourself feeling down and out, think about an icon in the current culture who inspires you, and remind yourself that you have the same amount of hours in the day as this person. Realise that they too had to go through adversities and make sacrifices before they got to where they are now. Stay focused on your passion for your creative projects by surrounding yourself with people who have similar goals, whether it’s online or in person. Repeat your affirmations to divert negative thoughts and to better attract your opportunities.
Every conversation I have often ends with, “Jude, you’re always smiling and ready to go. How did you become this?”. The truth is that I wasn’t always like this, and sometimes I also face obstacles that cast a dark cloud over my life. The difference between the ‘old’ me and my awakened self is that rather than surrender to the power of temporary obstacles, I choose to do the inner work to identify why such situations occur, process my feelings about it and work to find a solution. This wasn’t an easy skill for me to master however, with consistency and focusing my cause on practising mindfulness, I eventually developed this skill to become second nature. And I always tell people to understand that whilst it seems easy to succumb to destruction, it takes a lot of energy to reside in a permanent negative state. It also becomes a distraction from your growth. Besides, life is a journey, and like an elastic band, we also require a small amount of stress to help us learn and expand our mindset to better understand ourselves and our surroundings. If you’re reading this, I will presume you also want to know how spiritually conscious people engage in their daily routines.
We abundantly practice gratitude
This practice is essential to me because I realised that the universe is continuously providing me with opportunities and good fortune. If it seems to be the smallest gesture that turns in my favour, I find the time to say thank you and be grateful. A few people have tried to challenge this by stating, “I never get anything good, so I can’t find anything to be grateful for.”…What if I told you that perhaps you don’t receive good opportunities because your subconscious mind is programmed to exude the lack mindset therefore, all the negative thoughts that you’re projecting is attracting negative situations to yourself? This may not make sense to a few people, but for those of you who are ready to make a positive change, this message will resonate with you. A simple practice to change the chain of negative thoughts and attraction is to list five things you are grateful for every morning. Then, move on to listing five more things at lunchtime and five more before you go to sleep. Repeat this exercise every day for one month, and you will notice subtle changes in your life. Eventually, you will be in a state where you can find gratitude in everything you do. Not only does being grateful helps you to ground yourself and bring your thoughts back to a mindful state quickly, but it also helps to align our actions with our highest purpose. It also brings awareness to how connected everyone is in this world and how fortunate you are because what you perceive as a bad situation may be a desired dream situation to someone else. So it’s important to express sincere gratitude for what we have, as others may not be fortunate.
We always strive to understand the lessons in every situation
This is often a challenge for me because sometimes undesirable situations occur to break us down to build us back up. And as we go through the release process, which is often dark and painful, we cannot see the lessons. Sometimes situations seem too much to deal with that I ask, “what possible lesson am I actually gaining from this pain?”. Of course, it’s a lot easier for me to explore this now. However, it is understandable how easy it is for some people to settle into the funk. I firmly believe that some situations and the people we meet in life teach us a lesson about ourselves on this journey. Seldom we may find ourselves in friction with others yet, they were placed in our path to bring a message or deliberately make us feel uncomfortable to detach from what is no longer useful or needed. This can be in business, work, friendships and relationships etc. I had been around people where I felt uncomfortable even though they had always been in my social circle. At one point, the uncomfortable became overwhelming, that I thought there was something wrong with me. After meditating and reflecting on this, I understood myself better and knew nothing was wrong with these people or me. We were simply not on the same frequencies, and the social events that I once was excited to attend were no longer conducive to my personal growth. The lesson was, it’s time to evolve in my independence, be okay with doing things I love alone, and unlearn what I thought friendships should be. Lessons in your lives will undoubtedly be different from mine, but the point is that it’s up to you find them out. Stay open and strive to understand the why’s so that you can move onto how to create solutions.
We take extra care to understand emotional imbalances
This point is a bit controversial because some people say showing emotion is OK, and some say it’s terrible. My reasoning lies somewhere in the middle. As human beings, we all have some level of emotional expression. When you’ve done the inner work and are in alignment with your higher selves, you will notice that you continue to grow resilient to mundane situations, and quite frankly, not a lot of them will phase you. However, sometimes the subconscious would randomly release what’s been harbouring under the surface, and this is when we tend to explode. At this moment, we can identify what we are feeling and explore what could be the trigger. Then, choose to channel those emotions into a constructive outlet such as journaling, painting, and generally creating or sit in silence and take your thoughts back to a time you felt pleasant and peaceful. One of the powers of the mind is that we can easily transport ourselves to a positive timeline to instantly lift our mood and spirit. The key here is to explore if you are detrimentally projecting your emotions onto others or constructively managing them.
We meditate and reflect
There are various ways to meditate, and it’s up to you to find a practice that suits your needs. I find that meditation not only helps me to relax and reset, it also enables me the space to reflect, which subconsciously allows me to gain problem-solving skills. At the least, it can easily be integrated as part of your self-care routine.
We’re always seeking knowledge and wisdom
Books, Youtube videos, articles and whatever draws our attention, we always seek knowledge and wisdom to expand our consciousness. The more we know, the better we can make decisions that ease adverse effects on our journey. One common misunderstanding is that some people equate knowledge with their ego but having knowledge does not make us better than others, we are just more aware, and our choices are made on our sense of knowing ourselves.
We create strong boundaries
This also ties with the above point as the more knowledge and wisdom we receive of ourselves and our surroundings, the better we are at setting firm boundaries to protect our energy and our growth. We can set healthy boundaries from a place where we are deeply rooted in our cause. If certain situations and people do not align with how we live, what we believe and practice, we won’t voluntarily place ourselves there. This is not to be negative but to protect ourselves from possible unwanted toxicity.
We get a sweat on
Some swear that spiritually conscious people should stick to light exercises to preserve energy. However, there’s nothing wrong with this. Like-minded people prefer to get a good sweat to get stagnant energetic gunk to flow out of our bodies. Each person is different, and I like to switch up my exercise routine with a mixture of hardcore cardio and yoga, depending on my needs. Whatever you decide to do, try to make it fun and energetic.
We vibe with nature
This has become another of my favourite activity. I grew up in a tropical country, and being in nature is not a surprise to me. Yet, since I began my spiritual journey, it has been amazing to notice every little thing about nature. Before, I would sit in the garden and just listen to music. Now, when I sit in the garden, I notice the birds and their cycles (they come and go and each time they bring an extra offspring), how long the plants have grown in such a short time. Even my neighbour’s cat seems to sense when my vibration is high and drops by to bless me with her healing energy to make me smile. I notice the cloud formations, and my absolute thrill is looking up at the moon and stars on a clear night.
To conclude, every person is different and can identify and practice what is best for them. Even if none of the above resonates with you, ensure to find your own way to stay balanced and connected to the self.
Wishing everyone peace, balance and prosperity as we enter into the new cycle of spring. Continue to read, gain knowledge, create and grow in sync with your highest self and purpose. Remember to exercise your free will and keep your focus on situations and people aligned with your truth to manifest the life you desire and deserve. Continue to meditate, do the inner work and stay grounded as you navigate your way through new projects, job opportunities, friendships and love. Find the balance between learning and pleasure.
The title grabbed your attention, and I bet you’re expecting today’s post to be catty. If you’re new to this blog, you should know that this is not how we vibe here. Sure, I strive to keep my posts relatable and engaging; however, my core value and aim are to open explorative conversations and help readers find solutions as they journey towards their higher purpose. This week I thought about the action of minding one’s business. This is not to necessarily say that we should shut ourselves out by sitting in the house with a pout thinking that we are better than everyone else, no. My reflection on this is that sometimes, we lose awareness of ourselves and fall off track when trying to achieve our goals. Sometimes, we also don’t realise that other people have infiltrated our mental and emotional space leaving us energetically empty. This is usually achieved as we scroll through social media which prompts us to care way too much about what everyone else is doing. In return, it makes us feel bad because we’re not doing the same thing and having the same ‘fun’ as celebrities and influencers. It may also be a case of having family, friends or even colleagues constantly dumping their unwanted funk onto you. Most of us know one person we feel stuck with (because sometimes the universal lessons take a lot longer than expected) and have to consistently protect our energy because nothing in their life makes them happy. Whatever the case may be, there are people and situations lurking like landmines that catch us off guard now and then. If you find yourself caught in too deep with someone else’s situation and detached from your own growth, below points may help you to reconnect with the self.
Meditate like your life depends on it
There are several ways to meditate, and you don’t have to jump into a full hour of meditation if you’ve never done this before. Find a quiet place and allow your mind to wander to eventually be still. You can also meditate on the breath as a guide to balance your mind when it’s full of chatter. Do this a few times a day and be patient with yourself as you go through the process. Eventually, meditation will be integrated into your self-care and mental health routine, enabling you to be aware, fluid and adaptable in situations and around people.
Mine your business
In the age of technology, social media and faster wifi connections, it’s becoming increasingly easier to create a side hustle doing something you love and boosting your income. Suppose you find yourself always complaining about how much you hate your job or your current financial situation and seeing other people living their best lives tick you off. In that case, it’s time to consider removing the lack mindset and tap into your entrepreneurial spirit. You don’t need much to start a business, for most of them you only need a phone and good wifi. Figure out what you love doing for free and find a way to get paid for it. Do note that it’s essential to do your research and start small to build your clients and your brand. Ensure that you have all the facts before you make any financial investments. I can’t promise that you’ll be wealthy and successful quickly because having a business takes time and sacrifices. However, the process will keep you occupied, excited and disciplined; therefore, you’ll barely have time to be concerned with what everyone else is doing.
I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but books are packed with information that will fascinate you. Business and finance, fiction, health and wellness and the list go on. Below are books I currently recommend.
Some of you may find it difficult to detach and focus on your growth in the current age. It’s important to understand that sometimes we may go through undesirable situations. However, there’s always a lesson in disguise. Just remember to reflect, acknowledge the lesson and keep moving forward.
Reading is a great resource to find information for educational purposes and self-development. I have to be honest and confess that I couldn’t always read and write confidently in the English language. But I will always remember a wise person’s words that were told to me as a young person, ‘reading is the key that opens doors into new dimensions’. Growing up, I always thought that only ‘serious’ books were educational. Thus, the authors who wrote them were the only voices worth expanding my library for. I even thought ‘real writers’ and ‘real books’ didn’t belong on a kindle. Of course, that was me at such a young age, before I even dreamed of writing stories or building a literature business. For me, reading is and will always continue to be a way into gaining self-knowledge, to detach and re-charge my energy, and enter a world full of opportunities regardless of the genre.
Books are portals to indulge in fantasy, connect with characters and explore the author’s expression. They are also a way to understand history, culture and the expansion of life. It doesn’t really matter if you’re excellent at reading and writing, what matters is our overall understanding of the messages that have been written on pages and how we use it to improve our lives. You can also use books as a way to communicate and connect with people, to teach the generations to come. Regardless of personal preference in genre, kindle or kobo, Amazon or bookshop, we are moving into deeper integration with technology where authors’ works will become even more accessible. Now is the right time to venture into new genres and explore someone’s story.