Thoughts on life: The chaos of unbalanced people

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “your light attracts moths, and your warmth attracts parasites”. Energetically unbalanced people aren’t always negative, but in my experience, they do always bring chaos. Some are manipulative, and others are experts at gaslighting your emotions. The interesting thing is that when you take the time to look past the mask they wear or their armoured walls, you can see that these people are often broken from emotional trauma, usually from childhood which they refuse to address and heal. 

We’re all a little chaotic at times, but we are focusing on the toxic people who refuse to see the pain they cause in others through their actions and words. They are particularly dangerous when you coexist with them in friendships, romantic relationships or family dynamics. I am not a therapist, nor am I an expert in dealing with these archetypes; however, I have experienced my fair share of chaotic encounters and have an opinion. What I have come to realise is that these people are genuinely self-centred. No, not self-loving, but merely they reside in self-hatred that they would go out of their way to ensure you become the same. Whether consciously or subconsciously, they break you down slowly with their manipulation and tantrums until you give in to their demands whilst you slowly lose pieces of yourself. Then you wake up one day and wonder why you feel exhausted all the time and realise that you’ve lost your passion for living life. Sometimes you may even start to develop physical or emotional aches and pains that don’t even belong to you. 

Because you are in such proximity to these people, bending over backwards to make them happy, you start to embody what they are, as your world and theirs merge into one. Energetically, the dominant forces always win, and in this case, if you’re unaware of these archetypes, you indeed end up defeated by their chaos. If you think you have this person in your life, you need to be sure who you’re dealing with. Once you realise what they are, take measures to detach and protect your energy. You’ll have plenty of individuals come into your life throughout your lifespan, and I believe we meet different people who teach us lessons. However, having strong discernment is necessary to ensure that we learn these lessons quickly and move on with minimal damage to our psyche. 

Until next time. 

Thoughts on life: Not all ‘friends’ are your friend

We indeed showcase different aspects of ourselves to different people. Some people see your funny side. Some see your stylish edge, while others may experience the empathic side of you. However, not everyone who experiences many sides of you is your friend. Today, in the age of social media and fading boundaries in employment, many people may consider you their friend if you follow each other on Instagram, Facebook or Tiktok. They get to see the sides of you that you wouldn’t typically showcase in a professional setting or around mutual acquaintances. This becomes a slippery slope for people to loop you into a friendship trap with ridiculous expectations. e.g. “You said you couldn’t hang out with me, but you posted yourself out with other people.” Sometimes, the irritation can be triggered when you agree to meet up with them for tea or coffee, but they want to take pictures to tag and post.

Another red flag is when someone claims to be your friend, yet they’re only around for the simple checkups or gossip. Sometimes, they ask if you’re okay; however, that’s as far as their friendship goes. They don’t want to dive deep into life experiences with you. These people often only want to be with you when you’re at your best and do not think twice about helping you find solutions to problems when you’ve sunk to your worst. So the question in all situations is, what do you consider friendship? Does it have the safe space and ability to communicate without judgement, or just have companionship for shopping sprees and clubbing? It’s subjective, though, depending on how you like to spend your time and your consciousness level.

So what do we do when we’re unsure? Well, realise the cold truth that not everyone is your friend, even if they claim that they are. Know yourself so well that you have an awareness of your needs and strong discernment to make the best decisions for you. Understand that people don’t even know themselves most times, so be wary when they claim that they know you so well. Likewise, when you feel a distance in your immediate friendships, understand that we are constantly evolving and that what worked for your friendships last year wouldn’t necessarily work for you this year. Finally, be patient because it’s okay to grow apart as everyone grows to find or reinvent themselves.

Until next time.

~J

Thoughts on Money: Financial security is important

Some say that money is the root of all evil or that you do not need money to be happy. This post is not to reinforce or go against this message but merely to shed some light on the importance of financial security. Money is a tool, and with the declining state of the world’s economy, people require this tool now more than ever. Money doesn’t only pay essential bills and support families in the present. When you have financial literacy, you learn how to leverage it in savings and investments to provide security for years to come. Hence you end up working less while enjoying more of it in the future. However, money can also be a pitfall for those who use it compulsively, buying and spending more than what they can afford, for example, buying expensive luxury items, paying for nights out on credit cards and taking out unnecessary loans. These could quickly become a liability in debt.

There are various ways to leverage an income which you can research. The idea of working hard and playing harder in the context of finance is quickly becoming redundant. This is apparent with people promoting awareness of minimalism and ways to spend money consciously. It is essential to know your financial health whether you are in a relationship, living with family or alone. When you take the time to assess your earnings and spending, you can make a financial plan that works for you and will benefit your future. If your financial status is chaotic, you will continue to fall into traps. And some companies take advantage of people who are already in financial traps.

Having financial security allows you peace of mind, which could positively impact your mental health. Losing sleep over money woes and being anxious about whether you can pay your bills on time is unhealthy and could lead you into haste decision making that will further cause a detriment to your mental health. If your financial health is poor, organisations and services are available to provide support and advice. You have to muster the courage to find them and ask for help. Having financial security is imperative, especially when you have goals such as buying a property, saving for your family or even if you want to treat yourself to a vacation.

So take some time to look at your finances, create a plan that works for you and stick to it. Life comes with many sacrifices, but you won’t regret them when you reap the benefits in the future.

Until next time.

~J

Thoughts on personal development: When Things Don’t Go Right, Go Left

Today’s post is a quick note to remind you that whenever things aren’t going the way you hoped, perhaps your business isn’t hitting targets, or you’re feeling stuck in a slump, look to finding a creative way around resolving problems. You are born with a brain and intuition to find solutions. Sometimes you need to take time out to rest and rethink. There’s nothing wrong with admitting that you have hit a brick wall, and you shouldn’t accept the temporary obstacle as a failure. You can and will prosper.

Until next time.

The cosmos through my eyes

Happy full moon in Sagittarius! The world is still floating in chaos and visions are murky although, every now and then I look up at the sky and smile. It’s a surprise every time. Her beauty illuminates and bless us. Today, reflect on what you want to achieve and express gratitude for what you have. We’re gearing towards new beginnings. Enjoy the ride.

Photographed by J.P. Mooney with Nikon P1000

Thoughts on personal development: The power of language – 3 Phrases to scrap from your vocabulary

Today’s post aims to bring awareness to your use of language. Communication is often misunderstood or misused, especially when we use specific negative language to talk to ourselves and others. Language is a powerful tool that can make or break your day. The words you choose have the opportunity to create a supportive community or conflict yet, sometimes we don’t even think twice about how we linguistically project ourselves to the world. We have the power to change ourselves, our reality and the world through the use of positive language by being conscious about what we consume and project. The following points are five words and phrases to be aware of and scrap from your vocabulary if you want to further pursue your self-development journey and create a reality you desire. 

‘I can’t do this’

When it comes to achieving your goals, trying something new or even working on personal confidence, it’s good to begin to train your subconscious mind by using firm words that opens enthusiasm and prompts action. Using the word ‘Can’t’ automatically creates a negative bias and diminishes your confidence when your aim is to take action. Unless you are using this word in a situation where you are creating firm boundaries, using this word illustrates unsureness about your ability to utilise your strength, will power and motivation. If you know that you have the skills and resources to help you reach your goals, using ‘can’t’ will stir up doubt and cause your efforts to falter. This will also give people the impression that you don’t trust yourself. It takes time, however, try to replace ‘I can’t do this’ with ‘I can do anything I put my mind to’ and eventually simply ‘I CAN do this.’

‘I hate this, that and everyone’

This is one of the most commonly used phrases, and I have to admit that I have used it a few times in testing situations. When you think about the word hate, it’s not necessarily a negative word but rather a low-vibration word. We often use it in frustration and low-vibrational situations. When you’re on a journey of self-development and expanding consciousness, you’ll begin to understand that we are all connected to each other and our surroundings. Suppose you are in a low-vibrational environment or situation; your goal is to raise your frequency so that you are unaffected by external factors and instead, have the ability to transmute the chaos into your lessons and gains. How will you learn about yourself if you constantly carry a funk in your heart that’s not even yours? How can you grow into your highest and best version of yourself doing what you love if you’re projecting hatred and spending your valuable energy on people and situations that don’t serve you? I’m not suggesting that we walk around pretending to love everything and everyone. However, changing the word ‘hate’ and associating it with empathy, understanding, and learning will become more productive for you when life gets chaotic. When you build anger, or you feel a dislike for something, try to explore ‘I’m not keen on this, but at least I have experienced it and can move on’ or by taking a breath and acknowledging why you feel this ‘hate’ so that you can address the uncomfortable within.

‘I am sick’

Yes, we all have days when we fall under the weather, and ailments plague us, but it’s worth noting that you become what you consistently tell yourself you are and feel. Some days you can’t deny that you’re unwell, especially when you are swamped with extra stress. Instead of declaring ‘I am sick’, try ‘I am healing and I will rest’. This will slowly lift your mood and place your mind in a receptive mode to find resources to make you feel better and heal. I am not a doctor, and this is not a replacement for a medical appointment but to help support your thoughts as your body heals. 

Remember that there are no golden formula or shortcuts to reach your goals and deal with situations along your journey. It’s all about perspective and changing angles to understand the lessons hidden in the chaos. Be aware of what you want to embody and what you put out in the world and onto others. Keep going and find ways to enjoy the experience.

Until Next time.

Thoughts on success: 5 Obstacles preventing you from reaching your goals

So you’ve evaluated your life plans and have started taking actions with tremendous enthusiasm. However, after many trials and lessons, you have realised that you’re not moving as fast towards your goals as you hoped or you’re not getting the desired results. We are all guilty of this at one point in time where we make decisions that we think is best, or even hope that perhaps ‘one day’ we’ll get what we desire in life. There is no magic formula to living a life of comfort and financial security. We all have to put in the discipline and effort to make things work in our favour, and some of us have started with nothing but a blank page. However, it’s how you choose to tackle obstacles that determine how quickly and how well you can achieve what you desire in life. The below points will help you to identify your obstacles and give you ideas on how you can navigate your way to success.

You don’t have a clear vision of what you want so you don’t know what actions to take to acquire it

This is the common mistake people make when starting a business, new relationships, making financial investments, or making a career change. Some even make decisions blindly because they don’t know what they want, which most often ends with costly lessons. Before you decide to take out a loan for a business, hand in your job resignation letter or jump into moving in with a new partner; ensure that you have taken the time to think about whether your current decision aligns with your long term goals. Assure that you have taken the time to identify your bigger picture, research the responsibilities that come with making each decision and think carefully about how it will impact you mentally and emotionally going forward. Sometimes we tend to change direction and leap towards what we think would be a good idea until we end up confused and exhausted. This is why it’s always a good idea to plan before setting any action in motion. Even if you don’t look at it every day, it will ensure you stay on course.

You don’t practice gratitude for what you already have to prepare you for an elevated version of it

Many people spend their days complaining about what they don’t have while longing for an extravagant lifestyle. This is quite prominent today because such lifestyles are widely advertised online, in films and on most social media platforms. Some are too busy longing for what they think others have, that they forget to pay attention and express gratitude for what they already possess. If this is you, perhaps take some time out by yourself to write a list of the things you are grateful for. Gratitude is the language of the universe, and it’s a way to show that you are taking responsibility for what you already own until you attract an elevated version of it. Think about it, if you live in a studio and dream to own a mansion yet, you don’t have the time or discipline to keep your studio clean and pay all the bills on time, how will you manage to be responsible for the ownership of a mansion? Suppose you wake up every day feeling jealous that all of your friends have successful businesses and high-class careers although, you spend all of your time engaging in unproductive activities rather than networking and educating yourself on how you will handle the ups and downs of your job and business. Besides, being successful in life comes with sacrifices that you’ll have to make. Sure, most winners show the occasional extravagant purchases and holidays however, they had to sacrifice their free time when they took the first steps to get what they want. Be grateful for everything, including the time you have now to prepare to move onto more significant opportunities.

You’re scared to make moves because you care too much of what other people think

How many times have you doubted your decisions and actions because you were afraid of what other people would think? It happens to a lot of people. However, you have to find a way to be secure within yourself to trust your intuition and ability to make the most effective decisions. The most crucial point is that you have to ensure that you’re making decisions that are best for you and your goals. No, you won’t get everything right nonetheless, the beauty of life is to learn from experiences.

You’re unwilling to roll your sleeves and get dirty

When it comes to your career, relationships and business, it’s up to you to decide how much energy is worth pouring into their success. Anything that is worth having will undoubtedly require your focus and efforts. Unless you have the funds to pay someone to do the gritty work that you don’t want to acknowledge, you’ll have to learn new skills along the journey. Sometimes you’ll have to accept and do the gritty work within yourself for the sake of your evolution. Whatever it is, at one point in your journey, you’ll need to roll up your sleeve and get in the muck.

You don’t believe that you are worthy and deserving of having what you want

It took me a few years to realise this and really embed it into my subconscious, and you also need to understand this too. You have to believe that you are worthy and deserving of having anything that you desire. When you programme your subconscious mind with this belief, your motivation for accessing all that you desire will increase, you will have better respect for yourself, and your value will rise. If you don’t believe that you are worthy and deserving, people will also lose interest, and it’ll be challenging to keep their attention, especially if you’re trying to sell your brand or products. If you don’t believe that you are worthy of having better, you’re more likely to settle on low expectations, therefore attracting low-quality relationships and disrespect. The message here is not to assume we are better than everyone, no. When you do the shadow work and address underlying issues within, it will enable you to set healthy boundaries to protect your energy and space, make decisions with clarity and form sincere connections with people to support your development and growth.

Until next time.

Thoughts on personal development: The importance of knowing your self-worth

How many times have you cut yourself short in this lifetime, hoping that one day someone will hand your success?
When you’re creating opportunities, It’s never easy to root yourself as a high-value asset that people would take seriously without feeling like you’re letting your ego lose control. Yet, you have to find a balance between your desire to be liked and your desire to be valued in the circle of life. People who like you won’t necessarily value your work or think that you’re worthy of success. This is why it’s crucial to think about what you’re contributing to the world and believe in your work. It’s essential to know your worth so that you don’t settle for less, which could potentially slow you down. To successfully achieve your goals in entrepreneurship and creative ventures, you need to have a level of self-delusion, that unrelenting belief in your craft that motivates you to keep evolving. As you continue to grow and learn from your mistakes and successes, make decisions that empower you to become the best version of yourself while working smarter to ensure that your goals are met effectively. If you don’t know your self-worth, it will become challenging to pitch your ideas. Hence, it opens an invitation for people to doubt you and for external factors to shake your foundation. Remember who you are.

Until next time.

Thoughts on success: Your dreams are yours and yours alone

It’s reasonable to think that because you support people in their business and creative ventures, that they would support yours too. The truth is, people are not all the same, and most wouldn’t choose to spend their money on buying your products and services if it isn’t in alignment with their lives. It’s important to understand that as much as you would like your friends, acquaintances and family to root their beliefs in your goals, most often, this won’t become a reality. The truth is, nobody can hold your dreams and goals with as much care as you. Nobody will push themselves towards the accomplishments of your success but you. YOU will put actions into motion towards your success, and only you will know the depth of your desires and motivation.

Take care of the self and keep going.

Until next time.