In a world that is digitally connected, most are disconnected from themselves. Being busy securing finances on the daily grind is now a part of everyday trends. I see it everywhere, from ideas on creating side hustles and passive incomes to how to manifest and live your best life. One of the positives, though, is that people are beginning to wake up and explore their purpose in this life. Some have handed in their job notice to create income working for themselves, using their talents. Some have jumped off the rat race, sold their belongings, and gone backpacking around the world. This post is not to say that you should do the same. Today, we are exploring the experience of solitude.
When we hear the word solitude, we may think that it is a way of shutting ourselves from the world, binging on Netflix and cake. Perhaps you may also think it’s sitting in a forest in the lotus position while chanting om. With balance, both scenarios are equally powerful because each of us is an individual, with our minds and spirits requiring various ways to process and heal our subconscious trauma. Just because someone is in the forest and the other is on the sofa, it doesn’t mean that one is better than the other. One just needs to be conscious of how one desires to be in solitude for optimum empowerment.
On the other hand, some people avoid solitude because they are afraid of what may come up when they’re alone. You can’t hide from yourself when you’re alone, so to many people, the idea of facing the darkest aspect of themself is scary. One example is that someone who has been hurt in their past may choose to surround themself with people who aren’t necessarily good for them because they are scared of facing the hurt that will surface when they are alone. Likewise, an unhealed person or someone who refuses to take steps to heal will avoid feeling emotions or engaging in conversations and activities that may bring up their past hurt. They choose distractions. And just like a sponge, the subconscious self absorbs all that you experience whether you want to or not. Eventually, it gets heavy and weighs you and your close relationships down. This is why it’s essential to speak, process and heal from emotional trauma.
Being in solitude is not just choosing to be alone to connect with oneself. Yes, it’s beneficial, especially when one is doing healing shadow work or aligning with one’s spiritual gifts. However, you can be around people and still revel in solitude. Some introverts have perfected the ‘my body is here, but my mind is at home’ that they seem to be super chill during a crisis because they have placed themselves in mental solitude that enables them to detach from their physical surroundings. We must be cautious, though. Being in solitude is helpful. However, choosing to hide away and detach out of fear is not always conducive. Yes, life is harsh, and sometimes we encounter people who viciously drain our energy, but we must stay empowered and strong to face our reality.
We are often thrust into situations and relationships that are draining. We don’t realise that most times, such relationships, professional or otherwise, have the potential to take our personal power and drain our energy. You probably think that people can only take your power if we let them; however, such energetic transactions usually happen over time. It could be that you’re around a person or in a situation for a while where things transpire that chip away at your energy. What I mean by personal power is the personal gifts and abilities that make us unique in this world. Our confidence, the way we communicate and present ourselves to the world, our level of discipline, hunger and motivation for success, etc. Our personal power is what we embody and how we tell the world that we are here to make a difference.
So when we stay in circumstances that are delinquent, they tend to break down our energy until we wake up one day and realise that we’re walking through life lacklustre, wondering how we got to this point. This could be in relationships where you voluntarily change yourself, hoping that things will get better, only to see that efforts are one-sided. It can also be in intimate relationships, the relationship you have with your job or even with friends and family members. Sometimes, we give our energy externally without realising that the receiver is bleeding us dry. Then we find ourselves in a void of stagnancy. You either gained weight and can’t track how, fallen behind on your workload or projects, and have given up on maintaining a positive body image, which pulls your self-confidence, and you’ve forgotten your worth.
Firstly, when you realise that you’re losing your personal power, it’s time to take a step back and look at your life from all angles. Identify who or what is feeding off your energy. Sometimes this can also be a mental blockage created by a past trauma that you need to revisit and heal from. Then, once you’ve realised what it is that’s draining you, find a way to constructively address it or cut it out of your life. Suppose it’s a loved one or your job which you can’t just cut out of your life. Explore ways to manage them efficiently until you can make a final sustainable decision. Then, work on identifying what’s been taken from you. Have you neglected your physical or mental health? Your spiritual alignment? Your creativity? Etc. Once you do this, find ways to pour back in what you’re missing. Make regular time for yourself and do the work to replenish your vitality. This is not work that is completed overnight. It will require consistent effort to keep you stable and rebuild your confidence. Make a point to be more aware, track your progress, and focus on your growth.
We all waver sometimes. It’s natural to lose track of ourselves as we manoeuvre bumps in the road to personal success. However, when we start to feel the need to hide inside, isolate or overcompensate in the situation, that is when we need to wake up, assess and rebuild.
Some people mocked her style, rolled their eyes at her ambition, and laughed at her ability to think outside the box. Most thought she was crazy for aspiring to create the life she desired because she knew that she deserved better. Even in the face of failure, she kept her sparkle and now, when the nay-sayers judge and attempt to ridicule her growth, J.P. Mooney has one answer. F*ck You, I’m fabulous.
This book is for you if you would like a good resource to help you identify your creative and business goals. If you’re stuck on an idea but do not know how to action it into reality, this book will give you step by step strategies to help you achieve your creative success.